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Tips for Bride-To-Be
How It Works
If you are hosting two separate ceremonies, traditionally, it's
appropriate to honor the groom's family first. Likewise, if you are
holding an all -inclusive tea ceremony, the groom's family should be
served first. During the ceremony, the couple serve tea to the groom's
parents and elders in order of seniority. The groom's parents are
served, followed by his paternal grandparents and then his maternal
grandparents. Next, are his oldest uncles and aunts, and finally his
oldest brother is served. After each elder takes a sip, they hand the
couple a lai see (a lucky red envelope), which usually contains money or
jewelry. The envelopes are placed on the platter that holds the teacups.
The ceremony is then performed in the same manner for the bride's
family. The tea ceremony is also the time when the Chinese wedding
contract should be witnessed and signed with a traditional signature
seal or personalized stamp.
When to Have It
The tea ceremony traditionally takes place following the wedding
ceremony. Today, some couples wait to host the tea ceremony until the
day after the wedding (think postwedding tea, instead of brunch). Others
host the ceremony just before the wedding, during the cocktail hour, or
just after the ceremony. When the tea ceremony takes place usually
depends on the amount of privacy a couple wish to keep. If you just
wish to include immediate family, you could serve your parents before
the wedding ceremony, in the privacy of home. Another option is to
perform the ceremony during the cocktail hour, while your guests enjoy
hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. If you want all guests to pay witness to
your tea ceremony, build in time between the ceremony and cocktail hour
for this event to take place.
Where to Host It
If you want to host a private tea ceremony, you can choose to have it
just about anywhere. To add contrast to a formal indoor reception, a
private outdoor tea ceremony is the perfect way to incorporate a breath
of fresh air into your day. Host the ceremony in a nearby garden while
your guests enjoy predinner cocktails at the reception. If you want to
keep it more low-key, opt to have a small ceremony with family at home.
If you wish to include your entire guest list, you'll need to reserve a
space big enough to accommodate everybody. Find out if there is a big
enough outdoor patio at your reception venue, or perhaps the hotel has a
smaller banquet room near your reception space. You could even set up
the tea ceremony in your reception room and then have the room "turned
over" before dinner is served.
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