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Tips for Bride-To-Be
What You Need
You'll want to have an altar or table to display photos or candles in
recognition of each family. If you are hosting just one tea ceremony,
you may choose to have two small ancestral altars. A lot of times the
bride and groom will light two wedding candles (one with a phoenix, the
other with a dragon motif) to represent each of their families. The
couple can also light one candle together (symbolizing the joining of
two families). Other items for the ancestral altar: white flowers,
fruit, offertory wine, and burning incense. Of course, a tea set is a
must. The type of tea served can be left up to each family, but popular
choices are black dragon, orange blossom, and classic green tea.
The Setup
Just like a Western wedding ceremony, the general rule is that the bride
be on the left and the groom on the right. Those family members served
should sit in chairs facing the couple. (For example, the bride would
kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom kneels in front of
his mother.) If you opt to invite your guests to the ceremony, have them
sit in chairs facing your elders. You can seat them in rows just as they
might have sat for the vow exchange or seat them at round tables where
everyone is able to see what's going on.
The Decor
From the very simple at-home ceremony to the lavishly decorated affair,
there are a ton of options for decking out your tea ceremony space. A
couple motifs to keep in mind when looking for décor items: the Double
Happiness symbol, phoenix and dragon motifs, Chinese marriage gods, gold
and red colors, and decorative strands of firecrackers. You can drape a
red and gold banner over the altar; fly red silk scarves in trees for an
outdoor setting; hand out red rice-paper parasols to all your guests; or
string small red paper lanterns along the ceiling. Your decor choices
are truly endless so don't be afraid to get creative.
The Finishing Touches
If you do plan to invite all your guests to the tea ceremony, be sure to
have someone there who can explain the significance behind the ceremony
to those unfamiliar with the tradition. If you don't have a
spokesperson, print out the meaning of the Chinese tea ceremony on an
insert for your wedding program, so that your guests can follow along.
You can make the programs as casual or elaborate as you want them to be
-- from simple pieces of paper to card stock inserts that match the
traditional wedding programs, invitations, and save-the-dates. Of
course, when it comes to extras, you don't have to stop there. To
entertain and impress guests, some couples hire lion dancers -- an
expression of joy, celebration, and happiness -- to perform to the
sounds of drums, gongs, and cymbals at the close of their ceremonies.
For the ultimate wow factor, consider setting off traditional Chinese
firecrackers (just be sure to get permission from your venue first, of
course!).
-- Anja Winikka
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